Bereft, barren, and bummed out…

It’s strange, now that I’m on all these medications (blood pressure and what-not), thanks to my cardiac adventure, I just can’t seem to get a good rant going; I would love to blow a gasket over the new deadly sins from that the herald of hypocrisy the Pope, I want to have a debate about whether or not middle America (the part of the nation that ACTUALLY elects Presidents, despite what the coastal centric media would have you believe) is really ready to elect a black President, I would throughly enjoy a chance to berate ANOTHER politician in a sex scandal, and I would love to take some potshots at the testing policies that have been foisted on students thanks to the, completely useless, No Child Left Behind act that Dumbass George W. was so freaking happy with.

I want to rant about all of this and more but my ranting engine has been chemically corrupted… Pharmaceutically fouled up… Drug drowned…

So where do I go from here? If I have any readers left feel free to leave me some advice! I need it.

Ok, I’ll talk about it now…

Most of you know that I recently had a heat attack. Now I’ll give up the complete story:

On the morning of Feb 6th, after taking my daughter to school, I began to have sharp radiating pains in the back of my neck and shoulders. I figured I pinched a nerve or slept wrong, so I took an aspirin, relaxed for a bit and finally started feeling better. Later that afternoon it started again so I followed the same pattern and it eased off again, but not quite as much. That night it started again, stronger than before, so, still thinking it was caused by neck pain, I took a muscle relaxant and went to bed. After about thirty minutes I woke up with the same pain but it was radiating out from the back of my neck and shoulders all around my chest and coalescing in the center of my chest.

That frightened me. Off to the hospital we go.

My blood pressure was almost at a stroke level and the immediate EEG they gave me was “borderline” abnormal. Later, when the cardiologist came a calling, the word borderline was judiciously removed. I was informed that I had a mild heart attack and he (the cardiologist) wanted to catheterized my heart to get a better idea of what was going on. “Shitting bricks” doesn’t begin to describe how scared I was at this point. While inside my heart the doctor placed four stents to prop the artery’s open (three on the bottom, one on top). I was also informed that the top of my heart was stunned by the heart attack and isn’t beating properly, but he believes it will get back in sync with time.

So now everything has changed. I’ve changed what and how I eat, I’m getting into better shape, and I’m not letting myself get stressed out by things or get angry over things (which is a huge achievement considering that I was a type-a personality before this event).

Nothing can motivate change like the fear of death.