The comedy stylings of the Republican Party

Am I the only one who thinks it’s funny that the Republican Party continually sets themselves up as the party of family values and no gay marriage only to have it blow up in their faces over and over again? I don’t mean “laugh and slap your knee” funny, I mean “can’t catch your breath, wet your pants because you can’t stop cackling” hysterical!

The latest incarnation of this comedy cavalcade is the Republican Sen. from Idaho Larry Craig. Craig, who continually pays lip service to family values, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct on Aug. 1 after he was arrested on June 11 by an undercover police officer in a Minneapolis airport men’s room who said the senator had engaged in conduct “often used by persons communicating a desire to engage in sexual conduct.”

Immediately after his plea this fountain of family values released a statement saying he was innocent of the charges… Charges that he JUST PLED GUILTY TO! Isn’t that classic? He solicited sex from a cop, got arrested, had a month to plan a defense, plead guilty, and THEN proclaims his innocence. Are we expected to believe that this man, an American Senator, is so ignorant to our 200 year old legal system that he didn’t know how to defend himself? If I wasn’t so busy laughing my guts out I’d be insulted.

Also during this Washington wizard’s press conference he continually, emphatically, desperately repeated the cry of “I’m not gay” to the crowds of reporters who could barely contain their glee.

Hey Larry, let’s face reality here; you tried to get a cop to blow you, you’re gay. In fact Larry, you tried to get a cop to blow you in a toilet stall, so you’re not just gay, you’re a hardcore gay fetishist in deep, deep denial. Get over yourself, put on a Judy Garland record, and scream faaaaAAAAAAaaaabulous to the world. The only one who really cares how you get your rocks off is you. The rest of the world couldn’t care less, you self-important idiot.

Now, because of your own stupidity, your career is over, your credibility is gone, your marriage is probably kaput, you’re a confessed criminal, and your the laughing stock of the entire globe. Playing boinkie boink in the boys room still sound like a good plan, Larry?

But thanks for all the guffaws you’ve given me, I haven’t laughed this hard in… Well, since the last time a politician torpedoed his own life. 🙂

Published in: on August 31, 2007 at 5:36 pm  Leave a Comment  

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